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Instead of “the John,” I call my toilet “the Jim.” That way it sounds better when I say I go to the Jim first thing every morning.
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Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend off the wall?
So he could see her crack!
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I went to the bank the other day and asked the banker to check my balance, so she pushed me!
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Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building?
A: Of course. The Empire State Building can’t jump.
