Funny SMS

I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.

OK, so what’s the speed of dark?

I haven’t talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn’t want to interrupt her.

Two men broke into a drugstore and stole all the Viagra. The police put out an alert to be on the lookout for the two hardened criminals.

People say I’m condescending. That means I talk down to people.