Q: Why do only 10 percent of husbands make it to heaven?
A: Because if they all went, it would be called hell.
Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a ‘good man’ is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.
Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually
the first thing that came to my mind was “You look just like a girl”,,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just
a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99…
After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you’ve always wanted.
My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.
Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!
P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but my sister ‘Carla’,,,was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem for you.
Husband: Dear do you know that exams are like women?
Wife: How funny?
Husband: Yes, they are tough to understand, complicated, lots of questions and the result is always doubtful..
In a divorce court
A woman requested the judge: “Your honor, I want to divorce my husband.”
“But why ?” asked the judge.
She replied, “Because he is not faithful to me.”
The judge asked, “How do you know ?”
She replied, “My lord, not a single child resembles him.”
A Sardar was in the bathroom for a long time. His wife shouted: “Did you find the shampoo?”
he answered, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve just wet mine. So now I am waiting for my hair to dry before I can use it!”