Wife Vs Husband

Wife Vs Husband



CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.” The wife responded, “Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;
God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!”


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Wife Vs Husband



“It’s just too hot to wear clothes today,” Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, “honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?”
“Probably that I married you for your money,” she replied.


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Wife Vs Husband



Dear Wife:
I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for
good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore
a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.

You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I’m gone.

Signed,
Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!


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Wife Vs Husband



Q: Why is your wife like a laxative?
A: They both irritate the shit out of you.


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Wife Vs Husband



Q: What does a husband and mascara have in common?
A: They both run at the first sign of emotion.


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