Jokes

Jokes



Doctor! doctor! I think I need glasses,
I think you do mate because this isn’t a doctors it’s a fish and chip shop!


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Jokes



Paddy and Sean are planning to go out on St Patricks Day, but only have 50 cents between them. Paddy has an idea, he takes the 50 cents of Sean, goes to a butchers and buys a sausage. Sean is really pissed off at first that Paddy spent their last money on a sausage, but Paddy lets him in on his plan. “We are going into the next pub, order two pints, drink them and when it comes to paying you go down on your knees, unzip my trousers, pull the sausage out and start sucking on it” So, they go into the first pub and do exactly as Paddy suggested. The barmaid is disgusted by the sight and kicks the two out. Paddy says: “see it works, we didn’t pay did we?” As Paddy’s plan seems to be working they carry on doing it… In the 12th pub, both are quite drunk by now, Sean isn’t looking to good. They have just finished their pints… Sean: “I can’t do this anymore Paddy my bloody knees are hurting as fuck…!” Paddy: “No worries…I lost that bloody sausage in the third pub!”


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Jokes



Canadians are more polite when they are being rude than Americans are when they are being friendly.


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Jokes



Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.


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Jokes



I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.


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