After an intense high speed chase, an officer finally gets the lawbreaker to pull over.
“You know,” says the cop, “I was originally pulling you over to tell you your taillight is out. Why the hell did you take off like that?”
“Last week my wife ran off with a cop,” the man said, “and I was afraid you were trying to give her back.”
How do you stop a dog from barking in the back seat?
Answer: Put it in the front seat!
Yo momma is so fat and old that when God said “Let there be Light”, he told her to move her fat ass out of the way.
Three convicts were on the way to prison. They were each allowed to take one item with them to help them occupy their time while incarcerated.
On the bus, one turned to another and said, “So, what did you bring?” The second convict pulled out a box of paints and stated that he intended to paint anything he could. He wanted to become the “Grandma Moses of Jail”.
Then he asked the first, “What did you bring?”
The first convict pulled out a deck of cards and grinned and said, “I brought cards. I can play poker, solitaire and gin, and any number of games.”
The third convict, a blonde man, was sitting quietly aside, grinning to himself. The other two took notice and asked, “Why are you so smug? What did you bring?”
The guy pulled out a box of tampons and smiled. He said “I brought these.”
The other two were puzzled and asked – “What can you do with those?”
He grinned and pointed to the box and said – “Well according to the box, I can go horseback riding, swimming, roller-skating …”
Join our telegram channel for the latest updates and quotes.
Download Love Messages with features like stylish font, romantic images, text messages.